This question was asked to a member of Addict’s Mom, Teri Murgia. She is a recovering prescription drug addict and the mother of an addict who now dedicates her life to helping others who are suffering. It is a powerful lesson she shared about enabling, and how her mother’s decision to walk away changed her life.
Question: When your Mother found the courage to stop the enabling process by walking out on you when you were facing uncertain death how did that make you feel in your heart?
The day my Mother found the courage to walk out of my hospital room was the day I had made another personal attempt to end my life. She just couldn’t do it anymore. My Mother had already lost two children by this time, her heart was broken into a million pieces and all she could do was fall to her knees and cry out to GOD!
My first thought when she walked out of the room that day was, it confirmed what I was feeling, even my own Mother couldn’t love me. Then all the feelings of anger, bitterness and sometimes even a bit of hatred flooded my thoughts. What kind of Mother could walk away from their only daughter, how could someone be so cold and unfeeling? Her last words to me that day were, “ I AM NOT GOING TO SIT BACK AND WATCH YOU KILL YOURSELF ANYMORE, IF YOU WANT TO DIE THAT’S YOUR CHOICE , BUT I WON’T BE HERE TO WATCH IT!!” And she left.
It was that day when my long and difficult journey towards recovery began. You see my Mother made the ultimate choice that day, she chose her life. She knew her life was worth something and she was no longer going to allow my addiction to destroy it! She was no longer going to be a victim of my destructive behavior.
Today I live my life grateful she had the courage to walk away, as it was the very thing I needed to begin my recovery. Thank you MOM, I love you!